Brain Crack: Health Insurance Edition

28 Aug

Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a health insurance plan that included some sort of button (like an easy button mounted in your bathroom! Ooh, or a life alert necklace!) that you could push and an insurance agent would show up at your door with chicken noodle soup?

Funny story: in the middle of typing that sentence I sneezed, but had just enough time before the actual sneeze to grab a tissue. I dare anyone to say there isn’t a more triumphant feeling than catching a sneeze in a kleenex. Run a marathon? Get a PhD? PSHAW. I AM A NINJA THAT CAN CATCH SNEEZES.

Anyway. Though that particular service would make your premiums absolutely skyrocket, I would TOTALLY DO IT. Though, my building doesn’t have a buzzer for my apartment, so I’d still have to put shoes on and let my insurance soup deliverer inside. Ugh. Shoes.

It may seem completely random that I’m talking about this, but I’m sick. The pollen count is apparently high right now, and while I don’t get *that* sick in the spring, I almost always succumb to ridiculous allergies in the fall. The end of August is a little earlier than usual, but whatever. Long story short, I HATE YOU SINUSES.

Related: Should I get a neti pot? Will it do anything other than disgust me? I remember seeing an episode of Oprah where she was talking about how much she looooooved neti pots, then to show how they worked, she picked a random member of the audience and poured crap through her nose!!

Even on Oprah I would never expose the world to the contents of the inside of my nose, and quite frankly, neither should you. Nothing good comes of exposing one’s nasal cavity to strangers.

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OH and just in case you don’t know what Brain Crack is, it’s not an illegal substance of any kind. It’s an idea. Oh just go to the link already, I’m not good at explaining it.

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One Response to “Brain Crack: Health Insurance Edition”

  1. Kate September 4, 2011 at 8:51 am #

    First of all, just go buy a big bottle of generic Zyrtec from the drug store. (or order the Kirkland brand on amazon) the Neti pot. Oh the Neti pot. I was resistant as well until my 4th sinus infection. My doctor not so gently told me to get over it and buy one. Note: you don’t need to buy the fancy solution for it – it’s just salt. It is disgusting but really works as long as you can semi breathe through your nose.

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